Boredom of Captain Jack
by ForeverAFanGirl94
Summary: Jack is bored and Ianto is called upon to help and things get out of control.
1. Chapter 1

Jack Harkness was in his office watching everyone do their work in the hub below and he was bored. As he as sitting there watching Tosh do an update on the rift predictor when he caught sight of his favourite person.

"Ianto!" Jack shouted down the comms. "My office now!".

Ianto stopped midway on his way to the archives and groaned hen he heard Jacks voice in his ear. He knew this would come when he told Jack that he had to do paperork that morning. Slowly Ianto made his way up to Jacks office wondering whether he should make some coffie or not but quickly decided against it and carried on walking up to Jacks office slowly.

Gently he knocked on Jacks door and walked in when he heard Jack shout back enter.

"Yes sir, you called" Ianto asked annoyed. Either Jack ignored this or just didn't realise but he just started talking like Ianto hadn't even said anything.

"Ianto, come and sit here" Jack said while patting his lap with his hands.

"Jack i've got work to do and so have you" Ianto explained.

"Yeah, but i want to talk to you. Work can wait till later" Jack replied.

Reluctantly Ianto walked round the desk to Jack and sat on his lap as requested and straight away Jack started kissing his neck.

"You know what will get rid of my boredom, Ianto?" Jask asked seductively in Iantos ear.

"And what would that be SIR" Ianto emphasised the sir because he do what it did to Jack. But what Jack said next was not what Ianto had in mind.

What do you think Jack wants?

Tell me what you think and whether or no i should continue it or just give up. Reviews are appreciated either bad or good :)


	2. Chapter 2

"We could prank call people!" Jack exclaimed.

Ianto looked at Jack in shock. "Jack what are you 12?"

"Come on Yan it will be fun" Jack was pratically jumping out of his seat like a kid at christmas giving Ianto his best puppy dog eyes that he could make until Ianto gave in.

"Fine" Ianto said sounding defeated. Jack knew full well that Ianto couldnt resist his puppy eyes.

"I know ther perfect person we can call first!" Jack shouted excitedly. Ianto rolled hs eyes at how childish his husband and boss of Torchwood 3 was acting over a childish game.

"Oh and who would that be Jack?" Ianto asked not liking where this as going beause he knew what Jack is like and knowing Jack he would say something that would get him shit and it would be up to Ianto to sort everything out.

"The Doctor" Jack said in whisper so quiet that Ianto wasnt even sure if he had heard him properly.

"The Doctor?" Ianto asked making sure that he had heard properly.

"Yep. We could pretend to be someone that he dont like" Jack said giggling.

Ianto was starting to think whether Jack had taken some drugs or been taken over by some alien beause of the way he as acting. While Ianto was thinking Jack had found his phone and was about to push the dial button when Ianto stopped him.

"So what exactly are you going to say to him Jack?".

"Anything, just say stuff that annoys him and see if he can work out who it is" Jack explianed through giggles.

Ianto just rolled his eyes and sighed. Jack took this as Iantos go ahead seeing as he was too excited toargue about it and oushed the dial button and waited for the Doctor to answer.

"Hello" The Doctors cheery voice rang out through the phones speakers.

Who will jack pretend to be?

Any ideas, let me know

All reviews are appreciated


	3. Chapter 3

"Hello" Jack replied in his best attempt at a chinese accent. " I am calling for you to confirm your address for your chinese order.

"Erm... I didnt order chinese. I thin youve got the wrong number". The Doctor siad back.

"No ive definalty got the right number. You order egg fried rice, chow mein and chips".

"Erm. No because i didnt order chinese" The doctor replied getting slighly annoyed.

"Yes you did" Jack whispered down the phone.

" What did you say? I cant hear you"

"Ohhh... Can you hear me now?" Jack said while he and Ianto were trying to hold in their laugher.

"Yes i can hear you"

"Good, good". Jack paused for a moment. "So can you confirm your address for your chinese"

"For fuck sake, i didnt order chinese alright" The doctor shouted down the phone where he was annoyedwith the dins on the other end of the phone when he thoughtof soemthing. " Who are you anyway?"

"Sssshhhh... Its a secret. But i can tell you that i can see you now and my god you are looking hot, you sexy beast" Jack said in his most seductive voice. As Jack said this Ianto had taken a mouthful of coffee which was now spat all up the computer that was sat on Jacks desk from where he had burst out laughing.

"YOU WANKERS!" The doctor shouted down the phone then burst out laughing.

Jack and Ianto would have replied but they were too busy laughing and neither of them heard the familar sounds of the rift alarm until Tosh shouted for Jack and then the familar sound and wind of the Tardis appearing brought them out of their laughing fit.

"JACK!" Tosh shouted "Theres a large rift spike in your office" She said as she stepped through the door and into Jacks office. "Whats going on?" She said as she saw the blue box suddenly appear in the middle of Jacks office.

Then all of a sudden the doctor stepped out of the tardis and locked eyes on tosh straightaway.

"Why hello" The doctor said while walking over to Tosh when she put her hand out to shake his, he took it and brought it up to his lips where he gently kissed while looking into her eyes and winked at her which caused Tosh to blush.

"Hi" She whispered.

Sorry if this caused any offence it as not intended.

Thank you so much for the reviews i love you guys 3

So will there be a romance going on between tosh and the doctot. Oooo.

Reviews are appreciated

J.S x


	4. Chapter 4

This kinda gets a bit AU sorry bout this.

"Aww Tosh fancies the Doctor, aint that sweet" Jack whispered to Ianto. "Hey she could be your step mum,imagine that." Jack started laughing at this which resulted i him getting elbowed in the ribs by Ianto which just made Jack laugh even more while rubbing his now sore ribs and Iantos face.

Tosh and The Doctor turned round to see what all the commotion was about and what they saw was Jack laughing and Ianto scowling which obviously was making Jack laugh even more.

Deciding to ignore them The Doctor turned back around to Tosh. "Soo, whats your name then?"

"Toshiko, but people sometimes call me Tosh" she smiled shyly and the Doctor just winked at her causing her to blush.

****************************Break*************************************************

It had been a week since The Doctor had arrived at the hub and Ianto and Tosh were sitting on the old sofa under the torchwood sign in the hub talking about the week.

"So, have you heard anything from the Doctor yet?" Ianto asked.

"No" Tosh answered softly.

Just then the hubs alarms went off anouncing the arrival of someone. Tosh and Ianto thought it was just the others coming back from their weevil hunt, when all of a sudden they heard someone shout

"YES!"

"Whos that?" Tosh said has she jumped up from the seat and running to the door while getting her gun out with Ianto not far behind her doing the same incase it was an alien.

But instead of an alien standing infront of them it was a young boy no older then 16.

"Who are you?" Tosh asked the boy

"Ooops" The boy said as he turned around to face Tosh and Ianto and was starring down the barrel of two guns.

So who could the boy be and how did he get in?

Also sorry this is kinda short but reviews are appreciated.

Much love

J.S xx


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Okay, so this is not going in anyway that i planned but im just gunna go along with it and see where it takes me.

"For gods sake john, what are you doing here?" Ianto near enough shouted at the younger boy who tosh though looked strangely looked like Jack but didnt think anymore of it. After a few minutes silence "well?" Ianto asked him again with his hands on hips staring the boy out waiting for him to answer. Tosh just looked between the two of them and noticed a similar look on each of their faces.

"Well what?" The boy that tosh now knew was called john asked. Ianto just sighed and rolled his eyes at this comment and wondered why he even asked the question because he already knew thats what the answer would have been before he even answered it.

" Well i was bored so i though why not come down here" Joh said with a smile that could rival Jacks famous harkness grin hoping that Ianto would let him stay there but he looked like he werent going to get his way today by the look on Iantos face.

"Back to school now." Ianto told john while turning him around to go back through the door and just as john was about to put up a fight he saw the doctors hand and he knew exactly what he was going to do today. "Okay" he replied to Ianto while trying to do the best inocent smile he could do.

Once John was through the door Ianto turned around to walk away when Tosh grabbed his arm and made him tur around to face her. "Who was that?" She quetioned Ianto while staring into his eyes to make sure he was telling the truth.

"That was my son."

Wow, definetly nowhere near my original idea but lets see where this one goes.

Wonder what will happen next, will Ianto explain bout his past or leave tosh in the dark?

Reviews are much appreciated even if they are to tell me that this is crap and to give up lol.

Much love

J.S x


	6. Chapter 6

A/N=Thank you for all your reviews and suggestions for this story.

"Your son?" Tosh asked."How, your only 26?" Tosh questioned him, by now she was confused because John looked to be about 15/16 maybe even 17 but that would have made Ianto about 11 when he had him which could be possible but unlikely but she was brough out of her thoughts when Ianto started talking again.

"Im 33" Ianto whispered. Tosh was shocked, had she really just heard him right but she didnt have chance to say anything because Ianto continued talking. "Hes mine and Jacks son." Tosh was about to ask how when Ianto shook his head and stopped he from opening her mouth. "Dont ask how because i dont really understand it myself".

Tosh didnt know what to say to this but they didnt have chance to say anymore because the others walked through the door carrying 2 more weevils between them and Ianto went off to make some coffees for everyone hoping that Tosh wont mention this again. When the coffees were made he went to take them round to the others but Tosh werent at her desk. " Gwen wheres tosh?"

"Oh she had a phone call to take and shes just nipped outside" she told him as he handed her her cup of coffee with a few chocolate biscuits "Thanks love" she called as he was walking to the autopsy bay to give Owen his coffee, then made his way up to Jacks office. Jack looked up just as he walked the door and let out a low whistle.

" The two things i love the most, you and coffee" Jack said as he got up and walked around the desk to Ianto, grabbed his coffee and gave Ianto a quick kiss on the lips "thanks" he said as he turned round to go back to his desk "Tosh knows about John" Ianto said really quick just to get it out.

Jack stopped in his tracks and turned back round to face him "How and why?" Jack asked. "Well he came in earlier when you were out getting the weevils and he must have thought we were all out cos he looked shocked to see me and tosh and then tosh asked me who he was so i told her" he said in a rush hoping that Jack understood it all so that he didnt have to repeat it. " What exactly did you tell her?"

Jack asked, hoping that he hadnt told her too much.

"Not a lot just that hes ours and she knows my real age" Ianto replied while looking at the floor hoping that Jack werent to bad with it. "Ok" was all Jack said back to him as he sat down on his chair behind his desk and then the alarms went indicating that Tosh was back from her phone call and from where Ianto was standing he could tell that the phone call must have been soemthhing good because Tosh was smiling so wide that she would probably get jaw ache.

_BREAK_-

That night Ianto and Jack were sitting in their living room watching a documentary on tv when Jacks phone started ringing."Hello"

"Hello this is Metroside police station, is this Mr Harkness-jones i am speaking to?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well he have your son here and a man who claims to me a time travelling pimp. We arrested them a couple of hours ago when they were both extremely drunk but now they have sobered up they are free to go. Would you be able to come and pick them?"

"Yeah will be there in bout 20 minutes"

"Okay, thanks. Bye" "Bye" Then jack hung up and turned to Ianto who was trying to hold his laughter in at the look on Jacks face.

**A/N**=Thanks everyone for you reviews, ive taken your suggestions into consideration.

But what could happen at the police station? hmmmm? really dont know :(

Again, reviews are much appreciated whether good or bad lol.

Much love

J.S x


	7. Chapter 7

When Jack pulled up outside the police station he mentally cursed the pair that he was about to pick up. Getting out the car he locked it then made his way to the entrance. Once inside he walked up to the reception desk and smiled at the young man behind the desk.

"Captain Jack Harkness. Im here to pick up-"

"The drunk two?" The man cut in to Jacks sentence. Jack nodded while flashing the man a grin. The bloke then stood up and walked down a corridor and motioned for Jack to follow. Even before Jack was at the door of the cell he could hear a shouting and laughing. As soon as they key went in the door to open up the cell the noise got quieter and he could hear them whispering something on the other side. Just then the man opened the door.

"JACKIE BOY!" The doctor shouted as he stumbled out of the cell and pulled Jack into a crushing hug while John looked on laughing at how drunk he had got the Time Lord.

"Right ready to go?" Jack asked the pair and he recieved nods so he started walked while half carrying half dragging the doctor to the car.

Once everyone ws seated in the car jack started drive back to the house when all of a sudden john screamed.

Jack slammed on his breaks and turned round to see what was wrong to see john sitting there looking like he was going to be sick while the doctor looked a bit pale. Then on further inspection he could see a puddle of sick in johns lap and down his top while the doctor still had some dripping off his chin. Jack let out a sigh in annoyance and while mentally peparing himself for the lecture he was going to get off Ianto later bout the sick. So jack reluctantly started the engine again and carried on driving while trying to distract himselffrom the smell.

-BREAK-

That morning when the doctor was finally asleep on the sofa and john had fell asleep across him jack and ianto slumped down on the nearest chair and let out a sigh each while they each had a glass of scotch in their hands because they definatly deserved it after the night and morning they have just had.

******FLASHBACK*******

After Jack pulled up outside the doctor and john got out of the car and walked 3 steps before the doctor fell over and was sick again all over Iantos shoes who had just come out of the house when he heard the car pull up, so between them jack and ianto carried him into the house and put him on the sofa while they went out and cleaned the car.

After the had finished that ianto got the sicky clothes off john then put them in the was while he had jack and doctor arguing because the doctor wanted to something to eat and jack was telling him no. After jack finally gave up arguing with him he went into the kitchen and got a box of fish finger and a tin of custard which started another argument because the doctor didnt like custard from the tin.

So after jack had had a shower to wash out th custard from his hair after he had the custard bowl placed on his head he went downstairs to be handed a bucket and mop and told to go and clear the sick off the bathroom floor where john had just threw up and then carried him into the sitting room where the doctor was already asleep and carefully placed him next to him.

*****Now*****

Jack and ianto were just closing their eyes when they heard someone talking. They both looked at each other and then realised that the doctor was talking in his sleep. Iantos eyes widened when he realised what he was saying and Jacks mouth dropped open as they tried to stop their laughter.

**AN-Wow, eventful night for them. Any ideas what the doctor could be dreaming bout?**

**As usual reviews are much appreciated no matter what they are.**

**Much love**

**J.S x**


	8. Chapter 8

So new chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews I have already.

"Don't take my winkie!" The Doctor screamed while crying and rolling around. "And don't take my skateboard, you mean lady!"

Jack and Ianto were sitting on the chair laughing so hard they were crying over the way the timelord was acting. All this shouting and moving though had woke John up who had now just punched him in the ribs which set him off again and Jack and Ianto looked at each other and though here we go as John and The Doctor started arguing.

Finaly after John and gone up to his room and The Doctor had sulked off to find his TARDIS Jack and Ianto finaly went to bed to try and get some sleep while the rift was quiet. Once they were up I the bedroom they started undressing and getting ready for bed for which they fell into a deep sleep next to each other.

Ianto was woken by a thud which was followed by loud curses whuch caused him to jump up quick to find Jack on the floor in a pile of bed sheets nursing a bump to the head which he had hit on the bedside table.

"What are you doing?" Ianto asked while helping him up.

Jack looked sheepishly and mumbled something under his breath. "I didn't hear that Jack speak up"

"I said the monkey pushed me out of bed" Jack replied and Ianto just burst out laughing. "What monkey Jack?"

"The devil one that broke in through the window and pushed me out of bed Ianto. That monkey" Jack explained as if it was the simplest thing in the world and that Ianto should have known which just set Ianto off laughing again at how simple Jack could be sometimes.

_BREAK_

When they finaly got to work Jack mad his way to the office while Ianto went to the kitchen to make coffee. Once the coffee was done he took his cup and Jacks along with a piece of carrot cake for Jack to bribe him into doing some paperwork today.

Once he got into the office he sat down in the chair opposite Jack and gave him his coffee and cake and sat back to drink his own coffee. While Jack sat there demolishing his cake Ianto went through his paperwork and sorted it out for him so that it would be easier for him to do.

Once he had done that they heard the cog door roll open with announced the arrival of Tosh who had a big smile on her face a bunch of flowers in her arms.

A/N—So that's the next chapter done. Don't know whether to carry this story on anymore because its gone completely off course.

Let me know what you think.

As usual review are appreciated

Much love

J.S

xx


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